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An English Conversation
Level: Advanced
Bobby: I see you're beaming with all that smile in your face.
Stacy: Yap. Steve has promoted me this week. I'm thrilled and at the same time surprised.
Bobby: Wow! What an improvement. You've had lots of communication issues with Steve.
Stacy: Well. He's supposed to be a good boss, but very bossy. That bothered me so much.
Bobby: I know you complained a lot about his communication style: he's always right.
Stacy: Yeah. He's still the same man but the difference is he's doing better because I'm more tolerant of his shortcoming.
Bobby: You said it, dear. You've changed. We can't change people but can change ourselves. The ways we look at things.
Stacy: I actually took a course in human relations. I couldn't believe what I've learned in this course.
Bobby: What did you learn?
Stacy: Mostly, I'm responsible for the outcomes of my communications with others.
Bobby: That's true. Do you know better now why you and Steve stepped on each other's toe?
Stacy: I think so. I've a better insight into why I couldn't tolerate Steve's bossiness, the always- right-attitude. He made me feel like I don't count, I'm worthless but he's important.
Bobby: How do you feel now?
Stacy: I'm doing much better after this course. I've learned how to deal with my negative feelings right on the spot.
Bobby: How do you deal with your negative emotions?
Stacy: Remember we talked about listening with empathy before, I just couldn't listen to him with empathy; although I tried hard but failed every time he sounded obnoxious. Then I just put him in his place.
Bobby: Do you mean you're now listening to him with empathy?
Stacy: Yes, I do. I've grown more tolerant of his bossy-I-know-it-all nonsense, because I understand my own feelings better.
Bobby: Your emotional intelligence is at work, honey.
Stacy: Yap. You know all that. Right?
Bobby: I heard about the EQ a while ago and learned about it quite a bit. It helped me improve my relations with my clients as well.
Stacy: Actually, the course I took was based on this core concept, the EQ. Only after reaching a certain level of understanding my own emotions, I was more able to tolerate Steve.
Bobby: You're saying you understand your own feelings when you're dealing with him. But is that all?
Stacy: Of course not, I've more self-confident when dealing with him now.
Bobby: But, you also understand him better. Don't you?
Stacy: Yes, I believe so. Because I've improved my self-confidence, I do this when he steps on my toe: I remind him gently he's talking again on top of me and he doesn't hear what I'm saying.
Bobby: He made you feel worthless. Because you can understand your own feelings why you feel angry and can cope with your own negative feelings, you're tolerant of him now.
Stacy: Very much so. Because I've grown out of this feeling of self-worthlessness, I'm more tolerant of him.
Bobby: That's the key. Understand your emotions as wells as your partner's. As a result of this two-way understanding, we become more tolerant. Then, we can keep anger at check.
Stacy: Right. Being tolerant takes away all my anger. I can now deal with him with calm.
Bobby: And you express your feelings with calm instead of with anger.
Stacy: If he sounds he's important but I'm not, I tell him calmly to stop it. Then he apologizes and stops it, and he says he doesn't mean it.
Bobby: Good for you, girl! Tell him to take that course, too.
Stacy: I actually did.
Bobby: Really?
Stacy: He humbled, saying "I know I sound like a jerk sometimes and I feel deeply sorry for my way of talking to you." He will take the course he said.
Bobby: The guy is obviously not a jerk.
Stacy: No, he's not.
Bobby: I'm very happy for you, Stacy. What's is the promotion?
Stacy: Thanks, Bobby. I'm promoted to the position of Supervisor of Customer Relations.
beaming with all that smile: idiomatic phrase. looking very happy
tolerant of: adjective. Tolerant takes the 'of' preposition. It is the feeling of forgiving others for their wrong behaviors or shortcomings
I'm thrilled: I am happily surprised. To thrill means to have a sudden emotional awe out feeling joy
communication with others: ways of talking with and listening to others, or ways of written communication
can't change people but can change ourselves: This is a successful way of achieving peace of mind and developing tolerance toward others' behaviors. "Don't try to change anybody but change yourself."
communication style: compound noun. The ways we communicate with others. The ways we talk to others, speak to others
step on each other's toe: idiomatic verbal phrase. To make each other angry
EQ: compound noun. psychological insight into understanding our own emotions and others so that we can have successful communications with others, leading to constructive human relations. See the article, emotional intelligence and successful business communication.
put him in his place: idiom: retaliate in verbatim in a harsh way. To get even with someone who annoyed you with his words
human relations: compound noun. interactions of humans. The science of human interaction
grown out of. idiomatic verb in the present perfect. To stop a behavior, which is intolerable and undesirable, over time. To learn to control a weakness. Example: "Children who learn to play a musical instrument or do sports grown out of their aggressive behaviors."
self-worthlessness: compound noun. the feeling of no worth one feels about their own self. They are no good but others are good. Other term for is lack of "self-esteem".
self-confidence: compound noun. having a positive self-image, having self-esteem
keep anger at check: idiomatic verbal phrase. to have control over your feelings of anger, to keep calm when feeling angry
have grown more tolerant of: the tense is in the present perfect form. To become tolerant
insight into: noun. ability to understand the workings of an idea or thing. Example: "After working as a teacher for a while, I developed insight into understanding children."
jerk: noun. Slang English. Don't use it in formal English or business communications! A person of bad character, bad person
on the spot: immediately, right away during the course of something happens
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